Thursday, March 7, 2013

How to Get the Guy of Your Dreams (Malaysian edition)

What a day! All I did was write, write, write and here I am, writing some more! Writing is awesome. :3 

For some weird reason, I was suddenly inspired to write about how I came to be happily married in like, super record time. Everything just pretty much escalated quickly right from the very first day we met each other, and even though I highly do not recommend going as fast as we did (he proposed after we dated for one year, but we were already considering marriage 3-4 months into the relationship), I have some pointers which I feel can help other girls get settled down with her dream soul mate. 

I used to be a really nosy love guru to all my friends, but now that I am married --- it just seems kinda obnoxious to give them advice now *shy*. So I only listen these days and don't offer any opinions or ask any questions. Marriage is not a race, you know? Anyway, here's me letting go of a weight off my shoulders! Pom Pom! 

1. Make Up

Some girls wake up looking naturally gorgeous, but if you're not one of those girls, then it is time to learn how to look hot. Don't be afraid to be called a "bimbo" or "shallow". If people call you silly things like that just because you like makeup, then they are quite simply not your friends. You can look out for GroupOn packages offering makeup courses or you could learn from YouTube beauty gurus (I watch their videos every week!). Make up doesn't have to be difficult - I get my hair and makeup done everyday in ten minutes. For beginners, I recommend learning how to wear eyeliner. Eyeliner makes a whole lot of difference, especially if you're Asian. If you're pressed for time, colored contact lenses, a swab of eyeliner and light lipstick can instantly make you look pretty! 

2. Wear Nice Things

For clothes, I draw the line at jeans and baby t-shirts, or a graphic shirt and shorts. Don't wear baggy clothes, even if it really is super comfy! At the same time, don't wear highly revealing clothes unless you're planning on getting picked up by pervy guys.You don't have to be a fashionista to pull off a great look. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I went clothes shopping. The point is to maintain a cute wardrobe as best as you can, whether it's by DIY or shopping or thrifting second hand goods. Ditto with shoes, hair and jewelery. I don't think guys actually notice the difference with our accessories, but they can definitely tell the difference between sexy kitten pumps and old flip-flops. Just like at work, the clothes you wear and the way you carry yourself on dates/social events says a lot about you. 

3. Lose Some Weight
Honestly, there are way too many hot girls in Malaysia already,  and men are visual creatures. If you are medically classified as overweight, then lose the damn weight already. Saying dramatic things like "take me as I am" does not apply to obese people. The same goes for ultra skinny girls as well. If you want to get that dream guy, you need to look the part, too. 

4. Learn to Do Fun Things. Alone. 
If you like manga, dress up for cosplay conventions. If you like travelling, then go see the world! I recommend actively looking for things that can help you upgrade yourself all the time, like taking up language classes, learning programming or improving your speech crafting skills at Toastmasters. If you like doing so-called "superficial things" like clubbing, chatting or shopping, don't lie about it either. Have fun! You go, girl! Be yourself and just keep living your life. Be happy. Guys don't like moody girls who hover in the background at home, waiting for prince charming to sweep them off their feet. That's a lot of pressure to put on a guy, you know? So make it your responsibility to keep yourself happy! I guarantee this will go a long way in keeping your relationship upbeat and stress-free. 

5.  How to Meet Him
Lots of nice people are still single because in Malaysia, you either hook up in school, uni or at work. Because our aim is to settle down with the Man of Our Dreams, you should never aim for anything less, even if it is more convenient. The fun thing about being a grown up is that you can always "network" with other adults. The Internet is filled with forums, blogs and social network sites that allows you to connect to other like-minded individuals. If you're feeling brave enough, you might also wanna put yourself up on love matchmaking sites as well, although I highly advise you to practice safety precautions at all times. The point is that you need to poke your head out every once in awhile and befriend someone new to grow your social circle. Don't jump into anything with the objective of looking for a man -- just casually look, and see what happens. Every time you go to a party or event, make it a point to at least talk to one good looking man, just for fun.

Also, if you pick a guy up at a club, please understand that there is a 90% chance that it's not going to be a long term relationship.

6. Be Independent

Nobody wants to be nagged by a girl who is in her mid-thirties and is itching to be married. To be frank, I never ever imagined that I would get married! After all, who wants to be another divorce statistic, right? If you are in a relationship, don't push for the next step in your relationship. Let it happen naturally (i.e. both of you must want it). Instead of worrying about babies and your future dream home, concentrate on your career progression, achievements, friends and families instead. I have yet to see a guy dump a lively girl who can afford her own luxury bags, holidays and comfort items. You'll earn bonus points if you can treat him every now and then too, but things like paying for his rent and gas money is totally out of the question. Girl, just do your own thing and he'll spend many days and nights wrecking his brain on how he can keep you for good.

7. No drama, please 

OK, some couples get married and they can still last even with all the drama surrounding them, which is fine. But if you have the option of choosing, please do not go for the guy who gambles, smokes too much, drinks too much, is violent or crazy. Guys who play mind games with you or makes you feel any less worthy is also certainly not your time. I once dated a guy who offhandedly said that he might cheat even after marriage. I dumped his ass so fast, he didn't even know what hit him, lol. Regardless of how cute he is or how perfect he may seem or how well you guys "get" each other, no woman deserves to be put under mental torture for the rest of her life. Your man's job is to make you laugh and giggle, and hold your hand when things get sad. If you need to spend every waking hour worrying about the latest issue you guys are having, then you're just better off alone.

That's it, basically. When guys talk about their dream girl, they envision girls who know how to have fun, yet not take things too seriously. The funny thing about karma is that you give what you get, so if you're looking for a tall, dark, handsome, crazily romantic guy, then you need to be the perfect counterpart to him. If you want someone who can cook, is financially savvy and sporty, then you can't be too far off the mark either, you know? :)

Don't change for a guy, change for you. You'll feel much more positive if you look better, smell better and have a happier lifestyle. We'll have plenty of time to be wrinkly and musky when we're a 100 years old.

The thing about change is that it's scary, but the alternative, i.e. just "waiting for someone nice to come along" is clearly not working out for you right now. Don't be afraid to give love a chance and take the plunge! After all, a life without love is no life at all.

Wao, this is a super mega wall of text!


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