Thursday, October 24, 2013

The problem with confidence and how to find it

Good morning!

The truth is that things haven't been going my way lately. Nothing has been going really well, or rather, going anywhere at all. What's that, I hear you say?

"But Pam, you just got an iMac, didn't you? And for FREE! Stop being a brat!"

Well, I also still have lots of work lost in my damaged netbook and after getting home from the iMac purchase, I actually got really sick and stayed up all night with a fever. I was so sick that I couldn't even unbox my new computer. (T_T) And now that work isn't going too well, I'm not sure if I even need an iMac, no, scratch that, everyone needs an iMac.  And ... well... lots and lots of other personal/professional things have been happening for the past two weeks that have basically reduced me to a slug-like personality with the self confidence of a boiled potato.

Dear Internet, you've hit rock-bottom before too, haven't you?

I haven't in a while because I try to avoid it like the plague. Unlike everyone else who's tough and strong and mature, my low-blood pressure doesn't allow me to take rejection, problems or issues too well. This is great most of the time because it helps me avoid drama and stay happy 95% of the time. But when I get into a snag or trouble... man, do I tumble all the way down and can't seem to get up.

For instance, I am supposed to be making a very important phone call in the next 3 minutes. A phone call that may actually change my life and everything as I know it. But I'm stalling, because I don't know. I'm afraid that it won't pan out, so afraid that I can't even be bothered to try.

You've been there, haven't you?

So I did what any other modern age girl would do and actually Google-d "how to be more confident". Most of it's a pile of crap, and the only real advice I can give you is this: the best way to be more confident is to FAKE having confidence. FAKE it until you have it. Fake it with makeup, walk like three sexy gorgeous men are walking behind you and do so much research that you actually seem to know what you're talking about. It's a lot of work, but you need to fake it to get it - confidence, that is.

So, Internet. Here we both are, a little unsure and worried on a Thursday morning, wondering how on earth did we reach this point in our lives so fast and without any warning.

I love you, and let's never give up. Let's crawl out of this together and I'll see you at the end of this dark and scary tunnel, OK? Let's go now.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

what's in my bag?

Hull! I played around too much yesterday so I need to work extra hard today. (T_T) Nevermind, let's just have a short post today!

For a very long time (like, nearly a year), I carried around my large Juicy Couture bag which was (and still is) really awesome, but it got really heavy as well. Seriously. Girls, why do we feel obliged to leave home carrying a tonne of things in our bags? I was so jealous of Hermione and her dainty evening bag which contained practically EVERYTHING you could possibly ever need to survive an attack from Lord Voldemort and his crew of Death Eaters (see Harry Potter, Book 7)!

Anyway, until I receive a letter of admission from Hogwarts, I will now restrict myself to a diet of only carrying around small bags to prevent further back aches and reduce the downtime spent rummaging around in my bag for my car keys.

Ahem. I present to you... what's in my bag!

Everything is accidentally humbly branded? Marc Jacobs phone cover for the iPhone 5, Kate Spade wallet, Revlon lipstick and rose mirror from Dove. I always try to get rid of Receipts on a daily basis, but it seems to keep multiplying whenever I'm not looking. *suspicious* 

Also missing from this pic are my car keys, a pen and MP3 player. Whoops :D 

My Charles and Keith bag. It's not bad and I like that I can remove the chain and use it for a clutch during dinner time as well. More importantly, I can just wear it over my shoulder and have both hands free to hold my husband's hand. Ahem. 

To appease my worry that my new bag isn't big enough, I got myself a pink ALDO bag as well! It's so pretty but I have nowhere to wear it to! LOL I'll probably take it with me to Penang, or when I'm travelling somewhere far. Or maybe start using it if/when I start working full time at a proper office? I like how it's so bright and happy inside-out! 

The only downside to the size of my bag right now is that it definitely can't fit my diary, pen and papers, but that's alright because I can just carry that in my hand and look very serious and business-like. 

OK OK I better get back to work now. Hugs, everybody and don't forget to clean out your bags! 

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

this is what happens when you leave a chick alone with iMovie

I'm supposed to write about preschooling in Malaysia today. I will get around to it soon.

But before that! Messed around with the iMovie and made a silly YouTube video of me putting on makeup. Man, I nearly poked my eye out with my eyeliner because it's really hard to look at a screen while putting on eye makeup. (=.=)

I have a feeling that I'm going to regret uploading this video soon and will probably take it off within 24 hours. Oh well! The music is nice, anyways. I think that for now, I'll stick to brushing up on my Photoshopping and Illustrator skills.

Let's be brave today, everybody!

// back to work mode ON

Sunday, October 20, 2013

My Apartment Tour: Home Office edition

Whee! I'm updating on a lazy Sunday afternoon while waiting for the water to boil. Wewo is back at the office today so I get some alone time with the iMac for a few hours. Yeah, we work 6 days every week to enjoy our awesome life, but work is fun too so it's all good! 

As promised, here's a quick peek at my simple office at home: 

The work machine. 

I got this awesome swirling chair from IKEA. It was pretty expensive by IKEA standards, somewhere around RM500 to RM700 but it works great! I'm definitely bringing it along when we move, together with the L-shape table that's big enough to fit Wewo and I at the same time. 

This clock usually sits atop the bookshelf, but I often place it right in front of me while I work especially when I know that I have to be somewhere later and can't afford to be late. I like my clocks big and in your face! I'm old school that way (plus, I used to be tardy all the time)! 

I get a pretty nice green view from my work place, but I think it would've been better if I was one floor up. No complaints though because I usually just look at my computer screen. If I pull open the window, I get to enjoy a sweet breeze! Score! 

The flatscreen TV comes with a rotating frame, so I get to watch TV even while seated at my desk.

My inspiration shelf sits right next to my work place and contains knick knacks, presents and souvenirs. Can you spot the autographed 2NE1 cd? It's hand's down one of my most prized possessions ever.  

My bookshelf of books and files, double-layered to fit all the content! Wewo likes to get ready here in the morning, so I kept one cubicle for all his "manly products" like hair cream and shaver. 

I am a cup girl and have like half a dozen of Starbucks cups that I have washed and kept. I mostly use it to store stationary, although in actual fact, I only use one gel pen every day. I don't know why chicks collect stationary - almost every girl I know has a hoard of pens and staplers hidden at home. 

Ha! More hidden stationary hidden behind a row of novels. This one contains all the highlighters, marker pens, Sharpies and pencils. I don't want to tuck them away in a box or a drawer because I might need them like... the very next instant, you know? But I didn't want everyone to know that I have a stationary collection problem so... hidden but accessible stationary is the best way to go for me.

These cute containers are actually Japanese ice-cream cups! I ate the ice-cream, washed the containers and now they hold my paper clips. 

I use my printer like once every few months and while it it a very important tool, I don't like the idea of it gathering dust in a prominent area. So I have mine hidden at one of the bottom shelves where it is still easy enough to pull out for usage. 

I'm a writer, so having lots of paper lying around is almost a given. However, I'm also part engineer so papers that are not thrown away are filed away within the week. Random stuff that I can't decide on are hidden away in that large orange box ... to be sorted through during the next apocalypse (maybe). 

And that's it! It's back to work for me now, but that's alright because we're going out for Hainanese Chicken Chop and a Lilo & Stitch movie session tonight. Let's all have a fabulous week ahead, OK? OK! 

P/S: - Check out the rest of my Apartment Tour here. 

Thursday, October 17, 2013

The story of how I got my FREE iMac

If a picture is worth a thousand words... Here's two thousand!

Photos taken with my brand new iMac. It's so easy to blog now! Yay! *throws confetti* 

The screen is super large, and watching Youtube clips on it is a serious luxury, especially HD videos. I am a super duper happy cat. Oh yes, and writing on it is super fast and fun as well. I highly recommend an iMac, you guys.

Give a man a fish, and he will eat well for a day. Teach a man to catch a fish...

So I was telling Wewo all about how the Chinese government does not believe in granting its people with money, even during poor economic conditions. Instead of giving you money, they will grant you with work areas and machinery instead so you're forced to literally start working your ass off to be rich and fabulous, or at least, be rich enough to consistently feed yourself without depending on the government for handouts.

Similarly, Wewo generously agreed to fund my iMac purchase yesterday (which I insist, must be paid back to him on instalment because I'm just not the kind of girl who can use someone else's money. Well, except for food. He can pay for all 3x of my meals and I'll be fine!) with the understanding that I'll be working hard on it to produce A+ writing, videos, graphics, designs, etc.

Mainly though, he bought me an iMac because he's my husband and he just wants me to be happy. I'm sooo happy. I hope he'll be amazed by what I have planned for his secret birthday special next month!

Pam's iMac Shopping Tip (How to save RM600!) 

#1: The new iMac doesn't come with a DVD/CD drive. It costs an extra RM300 to get one from Apple, so I got a SAMSUNG one from another computer shop instead. Ahem. Only RM105! Just make sure you get a DVD reader with the logo: MAC COMPATIBLE, and then you can plug and play your DVD player immediately. No installation necessary!

#2: It costs another RM300 to get Microsoft Office 365, which is total nonsense since you need to renew the license EVERY 365 DAYS. Microsoft Office 2011 Mac version retails for slightly over RM400. I don't think I'm allowed to name you any shops, but if you go to the Digital Mall in Petaling Jaya, you can get a working version for RM25 only. Also, try to avoid going to Low Yat Plaza since they didn't have any "cheap" working versions of programs and it's filled with dodgy looking people.

P/S - Are you guys curious about what my humble office at home looks like? More updates tomorrow! Work now!

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

My Apartment Tour: Living Room, Study Area, Kitchen and Toilet

Do netbooks have feelings? I think they do because shortly after revealing my heinous desires to replace my 3-year SAMSUNG N150 with an iMac, my netbook decides to blank out and die today. I literally have months of digital work now floating in memory space limbo until I figure out how I can extract the data from my poor N150, which is now resting in pieces after I tried to fix it. 

My N150 power switch. The legs are broken! 

All you really need to take apart your netbook is a set of screwdrivers. I fixed the broken power switch and while the N150 does turn on now, the screen is still blank. Empty and dark, just like my hopes and dreams. Haih.

I am really freaked out right now because I just lost WEEKS-worth of work, but hopefully this will herald in the dawn of a new technology era in the Goh family household! I'm meeting up with Wewo later to go computer shopping, so tomorrow's update should be interesting.  

My Apartment Tour

I'm nearly done moving into our one-bedroom studio apartment! Here are some of my favorite features in our 1,000 square feet of space. 

The first thing you see when you open the front door. Malaysian sites sell this wall decal for RM160+, but I got mine off eBay for less than RM40 plus shipping.

This is the last thing you see before opening our front door. We're multilingual and especially fluent in the Banana Language! 

I love how my Sailormoon collectibles has its own corner, yo! 

The bookshelves used to look so messy, until I figured out that if you arrange the books right at the edges of the shelves, you prevent dust from gathering and it also instantly looks neater. The shelving unit we have is pretty deep, so there are actually two layers of books per shelf. 

See? Double layering of books. I also hid the seldom used stationary at the back of the books so that I could still access it, but it wouldn't be out in the open. 

The husband was very impressed with my take on how to arrange spectacle frames. 

We're renting the apartment, so I didn't want any permanent fixtures on the wall. Instead, I stuck on wedding cards, childhood photos, couple photos and romantic quotes on the wall for the extra homily feel. 

I like to keep the kitchen as industrial as possible for hygiene purposes. This signage of our initials looked delicious in the kitchen, it's like a place you would get home cooked meals. :) 

We recycled our wedding comic book! It's now displayed in our toilet, and is surprisingly fun to look at while brushing our teeth. 

The shower area is all white and pretty boring, so I surprised my husband with a window decal saying, HAVE A NICE DAY last weekend. 

That's about it for my apartment tour! I'll show you guys how I managed to create my own walk-in wardrobe space and bedroom when it's finished. 

Going to head out soon to go computer shopping. Wish me luck! 

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

things I really, really want to buy!

// caution! GRAVITY movie spoiler alert!

I just want to say that the GRAVITY movie sucks ass. It should be renamed to Foolish White Woman Who Kills George Clooney While Floating Around in Space. I mean, seriously. Do we really need another movie with a weak female lead who can't drive, can't propel herself in space, can't do anything right and can't even find the damn will to live without a dead George Clooney making a reappearance halfway through the movie just to give her a nudge in the right direction? The scene where she'd rather remove all her suits and take a nap instead of chasing after George Clooney made me SOOOO angry, especially since she was so sorry and sad after that because George died. Well, maybe you shouldn't have decided to do yoga in space before saving one of America's sexiest men alive, right? Right.

I'm pretty sure that there are some women on this planet who are exactly like the fabled Ryan Stone - weak, directionless and totally ignorant of the dangers in space. But I'm also pretty sure that NASA has a strict psychological and physical training of its potential astronauts too, right? Or can anybody be allowed to go into space now with so little training?

The only thing I liked about the whole movie is how all the Russian and Chinese astronauts knew to haul ass ASAP while practically all the Americans got wiped out - except for Sandra Bullock, of course. But then again, I'm Chinese and I don't need to sit through a 2-hour movie to tell me how dangerous space is.

And that ending? Where she's hanging around in the swamp? I was really, really looking forward to the appearance of a crocodile. Oh those crazy ang mohs.

// end of Rant

These days, I'm  into Historic Romance novels by Elizabeth Hoyt (the heroes are all so dashing!) and Wewo has recently introduced me to plenty of historical manga as well. I recommend reading KINGDOM and HISTORIE, but if you're looking for something darker, try UBEL BLATT which is similar to the BERSERK manga.

We also spent the past month breezing through the entire BREAKING BAD series, which was meh. We went through all 8 Seasons of WEEDS after that, and we found the latter tv series to be much more enjoyable, probably because the characters were (at least) happy now and again. The only season of BREAKING BAD that was worth watching was the one with Gustav, in my opinion.

It's another crazy two weeks of wedding planning (for two girlfriends), one wedding and work before we head off the Penang for some downtime. The end of November will then trigger a series of holiday events starting from husband's three-day birthday party celebration and ending with a week shopping at Hong Kong just before we settle down for Christmas.

In between, I intend to work super duper hard too because I've been suffering from bag envy these days. I blame it on Park Bom and her love of Chanel bags! While I think that I'm not ready for a Chanel yet, I do think there will be a Louis Vuitton for me in the future.

This is so pretty, right? But I'm a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl so I'm not sure if it will match my ensemble. I might go for a LV Speedy instead. The red interior is SOOO luxurious!

I've also finally outgrown my SAMSUNG netbook and am thinking of upgrading to an iMac.

So yeah, I'm looking to make as much money as I can this year-end quarter. Let's roll, peeps! 

Thursday, October 3, 2013

This are is left blank on purpose