Thursday, October 24, 2013

The problem with confidence and how to find it

Good morning!

The truth is that things haven't been going my way lately. Nothing has been going really well, or rather, going anywhere at all. What's that, I hear you say?

"But Pam, you just got an iMac, didn't you? And for FREE! Stop being a brat!"

Well, I also still have lots of work lost in my damaged netbook and after getting home from the iMac purchase, I actually got really sick and stayed up all night with a fever. I was so sick that I couldn't even unbox my new computer. (T_T) And now that work isn't going too well, I'm not sure if I even need an iMac, no, scratch that, everyone needs an iMac.  And ... well... lots and lots of other personal/professional things have been happening for the past two weeks that have basically reduced me to a slug-like personality with the self confidence of a boiled potato.

Dear Internet, you've hit rock-bottom before too, haven't you?

I haven't in a while because I try to avoid it like the plague. Unlike everyone else who's tough and strong and mature, my low-blood pressure doesn't allow me to take rejection, problems or issues too well. This is great most of the time because it helps me avoid drama and stay happy 95% of the time. But when I get into a snag or trouble... man, do I tumble all the way down and can't seem to get up.

For instance, I am supposed to be making a very important phone call in the next 3 minutes. A phone call that may actually change my life and everything as I know it. But I'm stalling, because I don't know. I'm afraid that it won't pan out, so afraid that I can't even be bothered to try.

You've been there, haven't you?

So I did what any other modern age girl would do and actually Google-d "how to be more confident". Most of it's a pile of crap, and the only real advice I can give you is this: the best way to be more confident is to FAKE having confidence. FAKE it until you have it. Fake it with makeup, walk like three sexy gorgeous men are walking behind you and do so much research that you actually seem to know what you're talking about. It's a lot of work, but you need to fake it to get it - confidence, that is.

So, Internet. Here we both are, a little unsure and worried on a Thursday morning, wondering how on earth did we reach this point in our lives so fast and without any warning.

I love you, and let's never give up. Let's crawl out of this together and I'll see you at the end of this dark and scary tunnel, OK? Let's go now.


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