Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Lunch at Bangsar (Roost, Jalan Telawi)

The scariest thing about eating at Bangsar is finding parking! So I love all eating spaces that are within walking distance of Bangsar Village; I can park underground and perhaps do a grocery run while also getting lunch. 

We originally wanted to have a lunch date at bait after reading that their fish and chips is delicious, but that odd place only opens up from 3PM onwards. So on the fly, we decided to head up the stairs to this restaurant called Roost... 

It sounded perfect; small portion food that's healthy as my date just spent 2 hours at the gym. 

The space is so pretty and MUJI-esque! I really loved sitting right in front of the open kitchen and watching the chefs at work. I noticed there were a lot of cabbage preparation so I'll try to order the cabbage dish next time. 

Lunch at Bangsar (Roost, Jalan Telawi)

Lunch at Bangsar (Roost, Jalan Telawi)

My favourite must-order dish is the scallop and my date loved the beef tartare. He loved it so much that he went again the next day with his friends.

Lunch at Bangsar (Roost, Jalan Telawi)

Lunch at Bangsar (Roost, Jalan Telawi)

You can skip the hummus dish but the panna cotta was also quite nice. 

Lunch at Bangsar (Roost, Jalan Telawi)

Lunch at Bangsar (Roost, Jalan Telawi)

It costs about RM100 per person which is reasonable for an adult date and most of all, I love how you leave the place feeling full but not guilty because everything is fresh and good for your body. They also have interesting beer selection you won't commonly find but I heard that it's expensive (I am the kind of person who will order a flat white or latte wherever she goes).

Highly recommended for a quiet lunch or dinner to talk and catch up!

Tuesday, October 6, 2020

JP Associates at the Asia Recruitment Awards 2020 Winner Gala (My Story)

JP Associates at the Asia Recruitment Awards 2020 Winner Gala

JP Associates at the Asia Recruitment Awards 2020 Winner Gala

JP Associates at the Asia Recruitment Awards 2020 Winner Gala

When you decide to swap your professional career for a small business, winning awards is so far away in the back of your mind. 

Lately I have begun opening up on how we started the business from my perspective, and it is humbling to see the look of disbelief on everyone's face. 

On the outset, it is a husband and wife business, dedicated to helping Malaysians find jobs in IT... 

But in the beginning...

Pre-baby we were a young KL couple living in a tiny apartment in the chic part of town; the house didn't need any cleaning because we never cooked and we even sent our clothes to the laundry shop so we didn't have to worry about it. 

On weekends we had high tea, KFC and pizza and sometimes only ate one meal a day because we were too lazy, sleepy and unmotivated to go out. We were absolutely not "entrepreneur" Type A people.

Then we moved into an empty new house (with no time for renovation!), I was heavily pregnant with our first baby and somehow we thought that would be a great time to start a business - just because I had 3 months of maternity leave from my marketing job. How hard could it be to figure out how to raise a newborn baby while running a business and also figuring out how to keep a household together? 

Right... we were idiots. 

But sometimes you need to be a little crazy to make a little crazy dream work. 

And so both the company and the baby is over 4.5 years old now and we also have another 2 years old (Yes. While working from home, being a part-house wife, part-business owner, I remember clearly being adamant that I wanted to get pregnant again FAST). 

I remember the days when I hardly got any sleep and days when I got a lot of sleep. 

I remember days of "closing the business" to go on holiday trips every month and every year overseas like it was no big deal (because I didn't know if you have a new business you should not take a day off) 

I remember hard days, frustrating days, testing days. But in all the days, somehow we were all super happy and the house was filled with a lot of love. Things just somehow always just turned out fine.

I now know that it is a stupid decision to have a baby and a new business and a new house all at the same time; I do not recommend anyone to follow in our footsteps. 

We are still living in a house that has not been renovated yet, and the business still has a long way to go before it can stand on its own legs. And the babies probably have another 15 years to go before they are independent adults who contribute to society. 

Steve Jobs says you can only connect the dots when you look back, so I hope that when we are truly free from the rat race, my crazy lifestyle will become a new blueprint, a new philosophy on how we (women especially) can have it all - the babies, the husband, the home, the holiday, the nails, hair and beauty and having the ability to afford it all by ourselves. 

Until then, winning an award or two in recognition of how far we've come is amazing and humbling at the same time. That we can stand shoulder to shoulder with public listed companies and giants in the HR industry is breathtaking. 

JP Associates has won GOLD for Best New Recruitment Agency, GOLD for Recruiter of the Year and SILVER for Best Specialist Recruitment Firm. 

We have grown x10 since we opened our first official office in 2018 and I am so proud of the team who believed in us and our unorthodox methods of getting the job done. 

JP Associates at the Asia Recruitment Awards 2020 Winner Gala

JP Associates at the Asia Recruitment Awards 2020 Winner Gala

JP Associates at the Asia Recruitment Awards 2020 Winner Gala

Here's to more recognition and awards as we run as hard as we can to meet the future! 

Monday, October 5, 2020

How to renew maid visa in Malaysia

Finding good help is hard! With two babies in the house and a busy household/business to run on top of it, we were very lucky to come across Kawasama maid agency to get a suitable helper for our home - I was really counting my blessings that I have help when the MCO lockdown happened and we were stuck at home with so many tempting house chores to do, while also needing to keep the business running at the same time. 

So when the MCO was lifted and helper's visa was due for yearly renewal, I was more than happy to renew her for a second year. 

How to Renew Your Maid Visa 

I read that you can renew the visa on your own, but the process was too complicated for me to follow. So I just contacted my agent and requested for them to do the paperwork for me. 

Step 1 - How much it costs for maid visa renewal in Malaysia - RM1,405 


Insurance - RM100

Levy fees - RM631

Renewal fees - RM400 

6% SST - RM24

After payment is made to the agent, they will work on processing the FOMEMA form; choose the clinics closest to your house for convenience. 

Step 2 - FOMEMA check up

For more accurate blood results, take your helper to the clinic in the morning. Fasting is not required but she should not take any medicine that can affect the reading. If she is on her period, wait for 5 days before visiting the clinic. 

The checkup should take about 30 minutes if you go early. You don't have to pay for anything, just wait for the results in one week. 

Step 3 - Wait for the maid's agent 

Once the results is out, the agent will process the visa renewal. This stage will take about one week. 

Step 4 - Wait for MyEG 

Once the visa is approved, MyEG will inform you that they will be delivering the visa to your doorstep. Do note you must show the helper's passport and employer's IC to collect the new visa. 

In our case, myEG took over 2 weeks to deliver our pass as our timing was always off (this is a busy household!) so in the end we went to the myEG office to collect it. It's quite a nice office with very nice people, we had to wait much longer because the runner handling our visa was out of the office... 

How to renew maid visa in Malaysia

How to renew maid visa in Malaysia

How to renew maid visa in Malaysia

Overall it was quite painless, so I'm leaving this post here to refer to it when I have to do it again next year! 

Also, I received the new EP at the end of July; I started the process on the first of June - so expect it to take nearly 2 months for your helper's EP to be renewed. 

Monday, August 3, 2020

Strip Bangsar Village II - Brazillian wax review

I have been wanting to wax for months but Fear of Pain and then COVID lockdown delayed everything. Last Saturday seemed like a good day to finally get my messy bush out of the way. 

I love how beauty services these days provide Whatsapp numbers so you don't have to be on the phone for 5 minutes trying to communicate with the Appointment Lady on the other line, trying to agree on a date and spell your name correctly - texting makes everything so much easier. So all I had to do was text my usual wax shop at Strip Bangsar Village 2: +6011-52851111 

I texted them the night before; they will ask you for your preferred time and therapist and then you are good to go. No unnecessary human contact required to make a booking. My therapist was Tracy and she's a lovely Chinese girl who got the job done quick and painless (mostly).

It's also advisable to make a booking because even though it's COVID season, most of the wax rooms were full when I was there. 

Strip Bangsar Village II - Brazillian wax review

Very pretty, very nice. No mention of hairy vaginas anywhere. 

Strip Bangsar Village II - Brazillian wax review
The waxing took over 15 minutes, I think I heard 6-7 songs playing on the radio until the nice therapist was finally done waxing away everything I have, which made me sad. One day my daughter will also have to go through all this pain, just to have a nice, smooth you-know-what. 

Strip Bangsar Village II - Brazillian wax review

This is the bed where you lie down on. The lighting is not at all romantic like this - they turn on a white fluorescent light so the therapist can ensure all hair gets taken off.

Strip Bangsar Village II - Brazillian wax review

This is the cupboard to store your clothes and other stuff (do remember to wear a 2 piece, instead of a dress so you don't have to get completely naked.

Strip Bangsar Village II - Brazillian wax review
That's the wax, you guys!!! I got the chocolate wax but I suspect all wax is the same. It's not as if you'll eat it or smell it anyway.

Strip Bangsar Village II - Brazillian wax review
My view while I contemplate my beauty decision. But as I type this now with a hairless hooch, I can't help but feel pretty. The trick to not having a painful waxing session is to suddenly breathe deeply while she pulls off the wax. 

Strip Bangsar Village II - Brazillian wax review
Before you get on the bed, you need to wipe yourself between your legs clean with this wipe which looks like a packet of condoms 

Strip Bangsar Village II - Brazillian wax review

... and then you throw away the wipe in the bin here OK? 

Also, one more thing to note:

You are literally taking off a layer of skin from your body, so no swimming 24 hours after waxing (to prevent infection). They say waxing only hurts the first time and after that, it's much easier, but I don't know because I always wait for years to get my next waxing done. Hopefully, I will take better care of myself from now on and will get my next session done in 6 weeks. 

PRICE: About RM120, I purchased the RM600 package to tell myself to come back again, please don't lead a busy life with a messy bush... 

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Learning About Customer Service from My Parents

Today we ship out the very last of our Covid-19 care packages to our VIPS - select clients, candidates and fans of JP Associates. Goodbye, care packages! May you be very useful to all your new owners!

The content is simple and rudimentary, but it's handmade and is well received because anyone can see that a lot of thought and effort was put into it.

Face mask, gloves, hand sanitiser, webcam cover and lemon mints.

It took some effort to show the team why it was important to JP to keep reaching out to our important people with non-expensive gifts.

It took even more effort to show the team how short-term effort will turn into long-term rewards as thoughtful gifting is just a simple, casual way of saying, "Hey, how are you? I'm thinking of you." It's very important for me for JP to have a soul, that we are building relationships, not just running business transactions every day.

It took the team some time to realise that while everyone is busy sending e-mails and making LinkedIn connections, the joy of finding a solid gift in the mailbox is so much more valuable than a thousand likes on an Instagram post.

I realised today that this was a trick (a value?) I learned from my parents.

When I was a little girl, I used to help my parents at their firm. We will help sort out files, format reports and also help to send out annual Chinese New Year cards during school holidays. We'd make a mini production line of 4 kids, 2 adults - someone would sign the cards, someone would chop the card with the company stamp and someone would seal and stamp the envelopes. Then my mom or uncle would drop off the cards at the post office to be mailed out. Maybe that's why to this day, I still believe in sending gifts by mail.

On other occasions, I also remember sending out annual statements to clients with overdue payments. I didn't realise it back then that having overdue payments meant that my parents business might not have been doing well (don't worry, their business is still thriving!). My only thought was that the stamp was so super cute, it looked like this:

What a nice and subtle way of collecting payments.

I still collect payments these days, but I don't use crying emoji to get my point across. I use polite, sweet language - because I think it's only natural to do so, but also maybe because somewhere in the back of my mind I remember how I used to help my parents send out subtle overdue payments to all their clients.

They say you have everything in you to succeed at anything you want in life.

Sometimes when I think about where I've been and what I'm about to do, I do think it's true. Stay tuned to find out!

Tuesday, July 28, 2020

Our first company billboard

Our first company billboard was FREE. For 3 weeks, JP Associates' very first advert was displayed across Jalan Tun Razak, LDP, Federal Highway and 24 Caltex locations thanks to Brandlah's Covid-19 initiative to support local SMEs in Malaysia.

Two Saturdays ago we took our oldest kid to go look at the digital billboard because the team thought it would be a cool idea to have our faces on the advert.

That's the Tun Razak Exchange Tower!

It was SO SURREAL to see the advertisement - this small company that was built on an intuition, that has grown so quietly and organically that I still look over my shoulder wondering if someone will tell us that we are not allowed to have this much fun doing anything we want.

My favourite experience was when the Caltex uncle came up to me while I was pumping petrol. He asked if that was my face on the petrol station's digital billboard and I said yes - feeling fabulous, even without makeup in my shorts and t-shirt. I will be so sad to see the advertisement go!

In case you're wondering how much it costs to advertise on a digital billboard for a month :

3 locations = RM16,854 (RM189/day)
5 locations = RM31,694 (RM213/day)
30 locations = RM65,826 (RM74/day)

As for my oldest kid, she is really only 4 years old so she's not that impressed that mom and dad is on the digital billboard, even if it is on display for millions of Malaysians who drive pass every day. But I am glad our friends and family are especially proud of us, which gives me courage to think that yes, maybe I should feel a little proud of setting up this scrappy little recruitment machine.

We ended the morning with dim sum at Oriental Jaya 33; the dim sum still tastes great after all these years! But I missed my baby boy so I guess from now on the 4 of us will travel everywhere together as we go on more family outings. Do you run a business to make your family proud? It has never been a top priority for me at all but it is a nice bonus. Let's enjoy it for this moment, tomorrow we will get back to work.

Good night!

Monday, July 27, 2020

Memento Mori Memento Vivere

What busy days! Full of laughing and stress and worry then laughter and joy again.

Memento Mori Memento Vivere

I try to wear these two bracelets all the time, because now that I am an old lady, Stoicism is so interesting and meaningful to me.

Memento Mori - Remember to die. Remember you will die, so live every day well. It reminds me not to take to heart all the petty things in life, to try to be kind as often as I can. Even if I fail to be kind this second, I will try to be kind the next second. Because at the root of it all, if you leave this world just a little bit better because you were born then you would have done a good job of living. Remember that you will die.

Memento Vivere - Remember to live. There is a trope in Korean dramas where when the heroine/hero goes through a hard time, they will eat a big bowl of rice (sometimes badly cooked rice). They will eat the rice well with tears streaming down their face and laugh heartily, telling themselves that even at their lowest they will live well and eat well. Every time I remember to live, I remember to be present in my current life. I am 36 now and will only be 36 for another 300 days. 2020 will never come again, will I live it in fear or will I squeeze every single experience that I can from this life? I will eat the best food I can, feel everything I can so when my time comes I can say alright, I am full.

My daughter who adores me wants to do everything like me, and she asked to wear one of my bracelets for a day so of course I said OK (although I said it fearfully as these things are handmade and expensive! I bought it from Etsy in the US).

Remember to die, remember to live. Don't live in a dream day to day, OK? Good night dear reader.

Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Reading a book to improve your marriage?

These are enlightenments that I gained from reading the book "First Kill All the Marriage Counselors" by Laura Doyle. 

I completed it last week, and so far things have been amazing. Laura Doyle did promise a drastic change in the marriage within 2 weeks and so far she's right. 

First I would like to share that this is not about how you can change your husband's settings so he becomes the perfect husband and life companion. THE TRICK IS NOT TO CHANGE YOUR HUSBAND AT ALL but change yourself instead; and because you change yourself, he will change too. 

We have gotten it super wrong all this while, dear wives. 

Guys don't need to be reset, they need to be left alone. We marry independent, strong alpha males but tell them what to do everyday, from how to fold laundry, wash dishes to how the children should be raised and how they should do well at work. How can any man thrive under all that nagging direction from their life partner? 

So the very first thing I took away was realising that guys don't need to be told what to do, when to do it or how to do it. They will do it when they do it and if/when they do something, and it's PERFECTLY fine even if it's not "perfect" according to your standards. Be kind, say thank you give them a hug, kiss and then move on with your life. 

And.. if he says he will do something but doesn't do it, it's not your job to scold him into doing it. He is a grown man who can deal with consequences if he fails to complete his duty e.g. saying he'll run the laundry but never does, leading to no clean underwear for him... 

If your husband asks you for your opinion, decide if you want to decide. Else, just leave it to him. 

For example, where do you want to eat? If you want to eat fish and chips, then tell him you'd love it if you could have fish and chips tonight. A husband will naturally want to make his wife happy. 

Another example is when my husband asked me if the toddler should be reprimanded or cuddled for having a meltdown. Instead of telling him hat to do, I told him to do what he thinks best (with no sarcastic tone, no eye rolling, no cautionary tone of voice which says if he gets it wrong I will judge him). Say it like you mean it - you believe that a grown ass man is perfectly capable of handling his kid because he is.

Guys are great at taking time off, don't guilt them for it - learn from it. 

You just drove 2 hours picking up all the family members and don't feel like making dinner after a long day at work. You're so tired that you can't even be bothered to order pizza. Don't complain and be dramatic, just inform your husband that you're feeling low on energy and can't get to dinner tonight. His first instinct will be to swoop in and takeover dinner duty. This is a much better scenario then quietly soldiering on, managing dinner anyway and then having a mental breakdown at 11pm because the day is over and you didn't get any alone time to yourself. 

Be a girl, not a robot. 

If the only emotions your husband sees from you is tired, angry and very angry then it's time for you to shed all your inhibitions. Don't be shy to cry and be vulnerable in front of your man. Tell him what turns you on, what's sexy. What's interesting, what's scary, what makes you cry. Remember that you are a woman and women are the most fascinating, mysterious, attractive creatures on the planet. You can still be a super woman and have feelings, as clever and capable as you are, he didn't marry you because you're great at laundry and paying the bills on time. He married you because you're an interesting person, so why bury it with mundane life responsibilities? 

When it comes to dates and gifts, let him pay for everything. 

I believe in equal opportunity but there is nothing less sexy than a woman paying for a man's drink and food. Doesn't it look like you are his mother taking care of him? So I told my husband that even though we run the business together and I handle the finances and we all get paid from the same source, when it comes to our non-business matters, I will pay for the kids and his duty is to pay for me. For the past few days, he has absolutely no problem paying for everything I want (which happens to be crab, macaroons, expensive French pastries and cheese)..  which is a joy because literally since we started the business, I got it into my head that since I'm the company financial controller, I should be our family's financial controller too... which is not a sexy look.

Don't say no at him all the time or at all. It makes him think that you are saying no to him all the time. He hands you a piece of candy and you say no thanks. He offers to help with a minor task and you say no thanks. He asks to walk you to your car and you say no thanks it's OK, I have it. Maybe you say it because you don't want to inconvenience him, because you are independent or because it's simply easier for you to do it on your own. If it's not too inconvenient for yourself, just SAY YES when your husband offers you something.

Otherwise, eventually, he will stop offering to do things not because he stopped paying attention to you but because he thinks you will 10000% reject him. Nobody wants to feel rejected, useless or un-needed so I am starting to make it a habit to say YES whenever he offers to help with something even if I don't need it, even if it's going to set me back by 10 minutes. I will say yes for him because I want to make him happy.

Saying YES to as many things in life as you can is a good habit, after all.

When you feel like fighting, or if your husband is gearing up for a fight with you (which is non abusive in nature), then just say, "OW". This will let your spouse know that you are hurting and is so much easier than rambling on for 15 minutes about what is upsetting you and then getting angry when your husband doesn't realise that what you're saying is that the current situation is hurting you. Just say OW and magically the fight will disappear. If he does something you don't like and the moment passes for you to tell him so, don't bring it up again. Just brush it off and move on. 

Finally, be honest about what you want inside and outside the house. Tell him what you need or want as if you're 21 years old and dating again, and your man will show up and be happy to swoop you up in a romantic way. Just tell him once, no need to repeat yourself over and over again. 

I don't know how long this magic will last, but so far so good - we are finally going on a date this weekend (a date which I did not plan or ask for). 

Beautiful pastries he bought for me just because he knew I like sweet things. I know that anything can happen in life, but fingers crossed here's to another many more years of happy married days. 

Thursday, July 16, 2020

Do you respect your spouse?

I like to think that I am the mysterious sort of woman, so my husband never knows when I disappear to the hair salon or get my nails done (this was a long time ago, way before my kid does my manicure pedicure for me). He doesn't know I had facial acupuncture done because I wasn't sold on Botox yet and one day I came home with two extra piercings in my ear; another time I came home with a Brazilian wax and another time with semi-permanent eyebrows.

That man has nooooooo idea, he doesn't even know when I put on my facial masks and I like to keep it that way. I think the less he knows, the more convinced he'll be that my beauty is perfectly effortlessly effortless.

On the other side of the coin...

Guys have totally NO INHIBITIONS about every fart and burp they produce. He walks around with a sarung wrap and no underwear around the house and he has other worldly vices that he is unabashed to share with me and his close friends.

So my point is on top of being the de-facto leader in running the house, family and business, I have also been working hard on maintaining a civilised, alluring sense of decorum around my husband. He has never asked me to do this, but I just do it for my own accord.

It's hard not to compare when you live with someone for so long and feel like there's a sense of superiority over how you manage to adult so much better than the other person.

And then that leads to judging the other person, which then leads to less respecting that person.

Why does he live that way?

Why can't he live better?

Which finally boils down to ... why can't he live just like me?

Which is impossible and weird to think of. Boys live like boys and girls live like girls. That's why they are boys and that's why you are a girl.

And just like how we are tolerant of other people in society, couldn't we also extend that tolerance and admiration to our spouses as well?

Yes, we can. Even if they don't put the seat up from the toilet bowl and even if they chew with their mouth open.

For the past years I have been living with the philosophy of just accepting whatever minor transgressions, but maybe these are not transgressions at all. Maybe things are different if I just look at it as I am living with someone I respect.

For example if I was living with Keanu Reeves, the dude could do anything he want around the house and I would still be in awe of him.

So I will try to remember that I married this guy because I also respect him, even if the way he lives is not like me, it's definitely carefree and happy which in itself is very admirable.

For my self care today -

Hazelnut latte from Starbucks because of the heavy rain, I got an extra cup for my husband as a surprise

Yoga and blogging before a hot shower and facial mask together with comic book reading.

Also, not to forget that I had a really good time playing with the kids and husband after dinner time. All in all an interesting day as I continue reading the book.

(If this is your first time here, this is a continuation discussion from this blog post about self care inspired by the book "First Kill All the Marriage Counselors" by Laura Doyle  which I am currently reading in pursuit of finding out how to have a super long marriage that's happy and romantic forever and ever. 

Wednesday, July 15, 2020

If you're married, you need self-care

Today I started reading a really interesting book that talked about how the typical marriage ends in dissatisfaction which then ultimately leads to divorce. I have thought of this problem many, many, many times. How can it be that before your marry someone, everything about that person is amazing but after that, the story typically becomes about how the guy can't clean up after himself, doesn't help with kids, takes 8 months to change a lightbulb, etc, you get the idea... essentially in the typical Malaysian marriage the guy is useless around the house and in the marriage. AND WE ACCEPT IT AS THE NORM. 

I do not think guys are useless at all.

But even in my own marriage I must admit that I do 99% of the heavy lifting at work and at home. I think a lot of wives do this too until one day they realise, hey if I'm doing everything around here I can totally kick the guy to the curb. And most of the time they do, the poor dude goes off into a dark bachelor corner somewhere with his PS5 while the wife has a re-birth as a hot single mom with cute kids and an independent career.

But guys are not useless. Guys are amazing, I know this to be true because until this day I still truly believe that Jeffrey is the most amazing guy ever.

So dear married wives, how did we get to the point where we controlled everything in the marriage?

The book I'm currently reading is "First Kill All the Marriage Counselors" by Laura Doyle and it's hard not to be interested in the premise that reading this book and implementing the 6 intimacy tools will improve your marriage in TWO WEEKS.

Yes, yes - after 7 years of marriage I would like a whirlwind romance, even better if it's with the same guy I married to in 2013. So I will let you guys now how it goes! Here is a book review of Laura Doyle's book on Reddit if you would like a quick summary.

I just started so I am on the first pillar today - which is self care. Women need to implement 3 self-cares a day, and I know this is an important step because I just realised I couldn't even think of 3 self-care things I could do for myself. Literally 24 hours of my life every day is dedicated to improving the business or the children's life or my husband's life. Pam didn't use to need anything because for the past 4 years I told everyone and myself that Pam already has everything she wants.

Apparently, I also need self-care.

If you're married, you need self-care

So here is a list of affordable self-care I can start with: 

Daily self care

  • Blogging 
  • Reading
  • Eating something I want everyday 
  • Facial mask 
  • Yoga
  • Meditate 
  • Putting 50% of the amount in my savings account every time I spend something for the family or business 
  • Massage (at home) 
  • Pretty hair everyday 

Monthly self care

  • Making plans with girlfriends 
  • Making plans to eat expensive things 
  • At home manicure/pedicure
  • Hair dyeing
  • Waxing 
  • Buying something silly for myself 

So I think I can slip in 3 self-cares a day for myself and you should too. It shouldn't be something that is beneficial to anybody but yourself - self care should focus on YOU and make YOU feel good. Most importantly, remember to schedule the self-care time in so it doesn't get forgotten in busy days.

I will share more about the other 5 tools soon. Remember to practice self-care! I think it's a great idea.

Tuesday, July 14, 2020

Why people are angry all the time

I believe it was Eminem who said if you have enemies, it means you actually stood up for something in your life. I also believe that unfortunately the new generation will not know nor care who Eminem is (but he is soooo awesome, you guys).

Lately I have been following Parliment and politican ongoings in Malaysia because when you're running a business, you have to always have your ear to the ground, eyes to your social media to see what's trending, what's the latest topic and if the latest political party in charge will be able to last until the next election round. It's true, politics affects business.

Why people are angry all the time

Man, people are so angry on the Internet.

We call them keyboard warriors, SJW, trolls and Karens... I can't believe I need to sit down and have a talk with the babies when they're old enough to go on the Internet on what to do and what not to do when they have unsupervised access to the WiFi.

And then this thought occurred to me that most people are angry because they are jealous. They are jealous because they waited for their whole life to start and suddenly they passed teenagehood, passed young adulthood, passed every hood and still didn't become a multibillionaire with a yacht and hot babe in tow.

They are angry because we are the generation who was told if you study hard and work hard then you'll unequivocally be rich and successful.

They are angry because we are the generation who was told that to be happy and fulfilled, you need to marry and settle down, have way too many kids and be satisfied with wherever you are in life.

They are angry because nothing happened in their life. So it's easy to judge and lash out at other people, especially people in the spotlight.

I know this, because lately I get worried too that I am just letting day by day go by - yes, even me, Miss I-Plan-Every-Single-Hour-of-my-Day. There are so many external and internal pressures to use the day wisely and possibly the scariest part is if you find out that even if you tried your hardest everyday to make lots of money, to lose weight, to look extra beautiful and successfully bring up extra smart kids - someone else probably ended up with a much better life than you did.

Case in point, I am the same age as Mark Zuckerberg and we both have 2 kids and dogs. Obviously his life is soooo much more fascinating than mine is.

That's why it's important to be grateful because on the other end of the spectrum, there are so many other people who are having a harder time than I am.

How is being angry and hateful beneficial? It's not and it won't bring you any closer to what you want to achieve in life.

Scolding someone will never be beneficial to you, not even scolding your own children.

If you have enemies, realise that it's not about you, but what you represent that makes other people envious enough to want to take your life apart.

And if you dislike someone, realise that you have the option to just let them go and focus on things that make you happy and bring meaning to your life.

Let's figure out life together. Onward!

Monday, July 13, 2020

Fitbit Charge 3 review - one year later

Fitbit Charge 3 review

Most people wear fitness trackers to track their fitness; I obsessively wear my fitness tracker to track my sleep. I think it's because I just raised two toddlers from newborn to babies to very young people and in between that period, Madam had noooooo sleep at all.

So one year ago, I got myself a Fitbit Charge 3. I bought it from one of the electrical shops at The Gardens and it cost around RM600. I highly recommend the blue strap one with gold accent as it's looks much more stylish, but the black Charge 3 is quite versatile as well.

After the one year mark, my Fitbit Charge 3 strap actually broke in half while I was wearing it at home. What can I say, I am a klutz.

Luckily you can buy anything online right now, so despite the country being under Minimum Control Order due to Covid-19, I still managed to buy extra straps from Lazada for RM45 (for 3 straps)

Fitbit Charge 3 review

I'm still only using the purple one now because it's special. Then next year when this strap breaks I will use the blue one and then finally only when there's nothing left to wear I will wear the black strap.

I am so clumsy that somehow I even managed to scratch the surface of my Charge 3, but it's not obvious. It's fine because there's beauty in the patina.

I have brought the Fitbit Charge 3 swimming, running, climbing hills and I wear it to sleep every night. It's pretty low maintenance and I only have to charge it while I shower every few days. Sometimes I even forget to take it off when I shower and just wash myself while wearing it.

Fitbit Charge 3 review

Fitbit Charge 3 review

Fitbit Charge 3 review

So... how bad is my sleep situation?

Fitbit Charge 3 review

Surprisingly although I don't think I'm a good sleeper (my deep sleep averages 1 hour a night), fitbit is giving me very good sleeping scores. My average is 80+ whereas I read on Reddit that some people are averaging 60+ scores. The thing is, no one knows how the Fitbit app calculates the sleeping score.

There are other things I do to help me sleep better, like wearing a sleeping eye mask (when I remember) and getting foot rubs with a massager. I even switch my beloved coffee for decaffeinated tea before bedtime. If I can get an average sleep score of 90, I'll be happy! Because we should always try to do our best in everything we do, including sleep.

Also, I do miss waking up refreshed from a long deep sleep... maybe it's because I'm a parent now, I have somehow become a light sleeper.

Thursday, July 9, 2020

My favourite night routine

These nights when it's 10pm, my phone will ring and iKON's Goodbye Road will play on my phone. Jubilee will be on my lap and she will make a sour face and tell the iKON uncles not to sing because she doesn't want the day to end. Me too, kid.

So I generously say, "Ok Ok another 5 more minutes" and we end up playing, eating late night snacks and scrolling on our gadgets for another 20 minutes.

Finally I am nearly comatose before I start tidying up the mess we made and I still put all my bags for work near the door, just like I did when I was 9 years old and always got ready for school the night before. I check that all the main doors are locked, the lights are turned off and I wish the poodles good night before I head up the stairs.

I check that Jubilee has her water bottle and brushed her teeth before I send her off to bed with lots of hugs and kisses (sooooo many kisses). Then I turn off the rest of the lights upstairs before I check in on Jedediah who is usually asleep much earlier than the rest of us.

I try to kiss and smell him without waking him up.

Then I do one final mouthwash before I say my prayers, say my gratitude to God and tuck into bed. I usually fall asleep scrolling 9gag and pass out with my phone in my hand.

I know they say that you should keep your phone away from you 2-3 hours before bedtime and that having gadgets around all the time is not healthy. But I still sleep well every night, with eagerness to see what tomorrow will bring.

Now that I am older, I know this is only temporary. Maybe the kids will outgrow me first or maybe the business will demand more of me even at night. Whatever changes will come, I want to just be in this moment and be thankful that it was one more day spent well with people who are precious.

Typing this out now, I am already starting to feel sleepy.

Wednesday, July 8, 2020

How to Renew Driving License in Malaysia

I renewed my driver's license 5 years ago and it finally expired this month, so I was relieved to find out that renewing the driver license in Malaysia is still the same, still super simple and fast - everything was done in 15 minutes.

Driving License in Malaysia

You will need:

  • Money 
  • Your current driver's license
  • Your identification card 

Driving License in Malaysia

Driving License in Malaysia


1. Head to Pos Malaysia Bangsar (I like this branch because there's not many people, but any post office without many people will do)
2. Take a number as soon as you get in. Choose the option to renew your driver's license
3. Sit down and wait, scroll social media
4. Head to the counter when your number is called. Submit your old driver's license and your identification card.
5. I paid RM152 to renew for 5 years, which means it costs RM30.40 per year to own a driver's license in Malaysia.
6. Just stand by the counter, your new driver's license will be ready in 30 seconds.
7. Walk over to Bangsar Village and buy yourself a cup of bubble tea and some chocolate macaroons to celebrate having a new driver's license.

On a side note: It's 830pm right now. I am going back to do some work after this before bedtime because business is picking up. I also finished many things these past 24 hours.

I finished reading the new Suzanne Collins Hunger Games book and I completed My Mister korean drama on Netflix. I like it when I finish what I start, let's go experience more things tomorrow!

Tuesday, July 7, 2020

When your friend/relative asks you to start a business together

Yesterday I slept 6 hours and 28 minutes! It was a great day but I am currently in a contemplative mood because... I am in a typical young-adult-middle-aged person standard dilemma:

Your friend/relative asks you to start business together.

It starts with a phone call and you like the idea, it has potential.

Then you meet each other and it's a little weird because there are strangers in the room who may be your potential business partner.

You suss each other out and things are pretty chill. It's exciting because everyone in the room wants to make money. You shake hands and look each other in the eye.

And then if you're Type A like me, you start the next morning kickstarting the business process and start getting into the gritty details.


Red flags to lookout for when entering a business partnership/joint-venture

1. You have no control of the revenue. You can't see where the money is coming from, when it's coming, what the payment terms are like. You have to trust your partner when they says it's a great money-making idea; there is no other idea like this in the market. They literally told me the product will sell itself and customers will breakeven in 3 days. Sigh.

I actually had a friend who quit his job, took on a RM100,000 personal loan to work on a startup. He was going to be the Tech guy and his friend was going to do the sales part. Turns out the sales guy couldn't deliver and he went into RM100,000 debt with nothing to show for it. He is now back into working for a nice big company and earns a nice steady paycheque. Kids, if you want to do business you need to always be aware and in control of where the revenue is coming from. I have heard plenty of stories of tech guys who have failed start ups simply because they trust other people to generate the sales for them.

2. Everybody is happy for you to foot the whole bill....You should draft a budget and then everyone should chip in some money depending on their company share. If your partners don't have any skin in the game, they are not going to go all out 100000% to make sure the business is a success. Why should they?

3. They are not keen on getting a lawyer involved. If your friend says "trust me, I won't cheat you one" then that person is going to cheat you even if there is only one thousand ringgit in the pool money. It is what it is, please get a proper contract in place to save yourself headache in the long term. The lawyer fee for such as contract costs around RM10,000 including advise on the structuring.

Profit sharing or 49% shares? 

I also learned something important - between shares and profit-sharing, always choose shares. This is because if you opt for profit-sharing, it means you need to do due diligence and audit the business every year. This is to prevent the main business partner from telling you every year that the business did not make any profit even if it did make profit.

Can business partnerships/joint ventures in Malaysia work? I asked my dear lawyer friend what the chances of the business succeeding is. 

Basically, her take is if you really want to support a friend/relative's business then just provide investment money and be a silent partner, then charge a percentage over the investment sum to be paid over a few years. And also, get that signed in a legal contract.

So.. are you going to do it?

I don't know yet. The nice thing about partnerships is I get to go into any business with Jeffrey who is my normalising, rational sounding board. Plus, this was his idea in the first place ...

I hope this will be a useful post for those of us who receive business invites (if you are Malaysian above 25 years old you will receive at least THREE invites in your lifetime because Malaysians are a very entrepreneurial bunch). Business partnership is great but I much prefer steering my own business destiny, it is hard for me by nature to partner with other people even if this is the best path to making more money.

Time will tell if this is a setback or positive survival trait for me.

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